I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
