booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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