covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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