dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
