Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
