I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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