What did we do last night that was yellow?
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
