She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
