bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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