what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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