i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
People with herpes should wear stickers.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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