i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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