remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
