I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
