I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize
