The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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