Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
