But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize