did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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