There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
