How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
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