there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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