I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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