You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
