I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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