Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
