The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
