I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
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