no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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