He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
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