Betty ford says i'm here all night
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
