I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
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