Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Your tits are I can't wait for
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
