fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
