come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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