my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
