The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I intend to get homeless drunk
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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