In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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