i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Operation Purity has been aborted
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
