It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
Randomize
