The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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