if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
