the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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