Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
