Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
