im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
