Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
