And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have fence marks all over my body
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
