I wish I could teleport
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
