Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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