Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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