I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Randomize
