I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
