Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
