I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
