Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
i've created a new STD.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
