she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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