Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
