erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
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