You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
Randomize
